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Try to have money available—like ,000—within days. "It not only 'showed him;' it also showed the wife—and their children—what life is like on a lower salary," she says.

"Divorcing just means that the relationship didn't work out," she says.

"Anything written online about an ex-spouse will exist forever—when the children are old enough to read," cautions Newman. Being divorced doesn't mean you're a failure, less competent or less desirable.

"Divorce used to be something people didn't do, and many considered divorced women to be 'loose' and 'scandalous,'" says two-time divorcee Jennifer Little, Ph D, founder of Parents Teach Kids.

"Divorce can be the beginning of a good next chapter, even if you don't know how the book's going to end," she says.

When it comes to coping with divorce, everyone does it in his or her own way.